The administration of our school has been considering adding an adoption agency to our business in order to help orphans from Ukraine heal their souls, wounded by the war and the loss of their parents, peaceful civilians, and to find new families for them in the US.
Since we are aware about a great number of American families willing to adopt children, to educate them and help them find a good path in life, we are ready to commit to the job of matching orphans and adoptive families, which supposes great responsibility.
We’ve been exploring the field of adoption and developing the database that reflects the situation around orphans in Donbass.
We are teachers born and educated in Ukraine, who have studied also in US, with California teachers’ credentials, decades of successful teaching experience and great respect for children. We’ve been working in America with children of different races and nationalities since 2002. An idea about adding an adoption agency to our nonprofit school came to our minds because of our soulful participation in resolving the problems Ukrainian civilians experience. We’ve been sending parcels, donating money, providing useful information to those, who ask for help.
Since some unprecedented cases have taken place in the field of adoption, the screening should be more than careful. We’ve defined lots of requirements for adoptive parents, which we want to discuss with you.
We believe that those people, who want to adopt children, have to possess certain personal qualities, some of which are:
Readiness for parenting, which includes emotional maturity, stability, adequate health and energy, good communication skills and problem solving skills, and the ability to adjust their expectations to a real situation.
An ability to accept the child’s certain behavioral, emotional, or developmental challenges, as well as health issues.
Adoptive parents need to accept the child’s past. All adoptive children have a set of parents, and a genetic and family history, which may be not very appealing. A good sense of humor can help to not take every little thing very seriously while parenting children with challenging behaviors.
Ability to honor the child’s memory about the time spent with his/her birth family.
A sense of perspective and tolerance, and positive outlook on life are extremely important.
Readiness to take risk, to welcome new challenges.
Ability to embrace many challenges, including unpredictable. You know that a child cannot move in and adjust totally to the family as it exists, but rather the family must do some adjusting and changing.
The ability to express and to accept feelings of a child enables parents to understand their own ambiguous feelings, and to accept without guilt those times when they may not like the child.
Being good team payers, acknowledging the need for outside resources, network, getting involved with therapists, special education teachers, counselors, social workers, speech pathologists, physical therapists, and the like. Good adoptive parents advocate for the services their child needs, and work cooperatively with professionals.
Having a holistic view of the family and child, seeing a family as a unit and seeing a child in his total environment, knowing that the child is influenced by many factors, including school, neighborhood, friends, and past experience.
Ability to make and maintain commitments. The adoptive parents may be disappointed over a child’s perceived lack of attachment, but this does not deter their decision to be that child’s parents. They believe in commitment, and are able to persevere in the face of adversity.
Being secure within themselves, able to tolerate testing and lack of reciprocity. Not expecting rewards and gratification.
Being flexible, able to make and correct mistakes, re-evaluate own expectations and make adjustments.